let's talk about talking about the things that hurt

It can feel like morning and evening come around without the sun ever coming up. It can feel like the knot in your stomach is climbing up to your throat and clamping down. Like the words could never come tumbling out of your mouth as a healing waterfall, baptizing you with your confession. 

Maybe you don’t know why or how this dark cloud has swallowed you, but all you know is that it hurts. Everything hurts.

So we can start there. 

Maybe the grey clouds are relentless as the days and weeks drag by, both in slow motion, and spinning so fast it makes you dizzy. You feel like you’re losing grip. 

If this is you, say it aloud with me: “It hurts.”

Can you hear it? The echoes of voices around the world whispering this into the air with you. How the heat of our breath can warm your chilled bones. 

So we can continue from here.

Now that you know that this hurt is not yours alone to carry, you can find a trusted friend, a close family member, a safe person, and say it aloud to them. “It hurts.”

Remind them that it’s not their fault. Remind yourself that it’s not your fault. 

Know that depression affects nearly 7% of America’s adult population. Know deep down in your soul that you are not alone. Let that spill into your spirit like a sparkling summer brook. 

We all hurt in our own ways, and we all need each other’s help. There is so much joy left to be felt. So much more sunshine to kiss your skin, cool breezes to breathe life into you. 

It’s never easy to ask for help. But once you do, there is freedom ahead. 

So we can heal from here.

Begin this process by educating yourself on what you may be experiencing. This can put words to the misfit puzzle pieces you’re feeling inside of you. It can give you tools to express yourself when you’re reaching out to a loved one. 

There is an abundance of information you can find here: https://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/depression

There are communities out there that were created by hurting people, for hurting people: https://twloha.com/

Remember that it’s not your fault.

Remember that there is healing waiting for you, all you have to do is reach out your hand. 

I do have so much more that I'd like to talk about with you here. I realize how difficult it is, and this subject deserves a lot of conversations. Just hang in there with me. We'll conquer this thing together.



Listening to:


  1. this was just so beautiful, thank you.

  2. I've never experienced despression before but i understand and feel those dark, unwanted feelings. As each day goes by this week it's been getting progressivly worse so all that's kept me going through today was knowing that you were going to post & i'd be able to escape from my reality even if it was just for an instance. Thank you for starting a blog, thank you for your encouragement, thank you for making me feel better when no one else can, and most importantly, thank you for being an extraordinary person. Sending lots of warm & fuzzies your way 💕✨

  3. wow this is amazing. thank you so much this means a lot <3

  4. i've never really experienced depression either, but i have major anxiety, i'm really trying to get rid of. And I also want to say thank you for writing the blogs too;) it means a lot, your amazing! <3 and i'm not trying to copy what that person said before me but it just so happened to be around the same thing i said lol ILY!

  5. Thank you so much. I've been putting off treatment for a while now and I think this post was just what I needed to actually do something about what I'm feeling. Thanks again. All the love.

  6. ashley, thank you for keeping the dialogue open with this...taking that first step to speak it out loud, to another person, and connect to others experiencing the same thing is powerful (and so difficult). no one can get through alone and your light here is a guide for so many. thank you. xo

  7. I'm not even an adult. But I've had my fair share of depression, loneliness, anxiety, dark thoughts. It's really important to recognize that I am hurting. Some of it is probably my fault (discontentment anyone?) but in the end. It's nothing anyone else caused. It's nothing I caused that I can't fix. There's so much healing waiting for us to experience, only we're too scared to look for it, or we see our depression as a friend — the only place we're safe and understood. No. That's a lie. The world out there is so much better than we give it credit for.

    Thank you, ashley, for these truths, this article, this blog. :] love you. Keep creating. You inspire me. I don't know if you remember me — but I've really thought about what you said about religion and beliefs.

  8. you're amazing ashley thank you so much for these words. they are beautiful

  9. I have been struggling a lot this year and your posts and poetry never fail to make me feel a little bit better. I have yet to talk to anyone in my personal life about my feelings but I'm getting there. Thank you for sharing your voice on this subject. It honestly means so much to me.

  10. thank you, thank you for this beautiful writing, thank you for helping me deal with my problems, thank you for being the amazing person to care.

  11. I had a depressed episode years ago. but back then I didn't tell anyone, I never trusted anyone, I just suffered in silence. I survived, and the grey clouds disappeared. but in all those years I never the courage to open up, because I thought those clouds made me a freak, who on earth has those in their head? but in the last past months, I've learned so much more, mostly online. I've seen so many people, people like you, who do have the courage to open up. and I'm just really thankful, because you're making me realize I'm more "normal" than I'd always thought. I'm starting to recognize myself in others (I even re-read the book of Psalms, and surprisingly found so much darkness there as well). all of that has really given me back a great sense of self-value. I'm not stupid, and that feels so good. I continue getting better, and someday in the future I'll say along, it Hurt. so thank you so much, I just wish I could hug you and say thanks. but that's not gonna happen irl, so *hugs you virtually very tightly*, and thanks <3.

  12. Thank you. Your words are truly comforting. It's wonderful to know there are people like you out there.